围绕115号同学小鱼提供的一篇上报信息展开讨论，查找问题和不足，提出修改建议。
<p class="p0" style="text-indent:44.0000pt; margin-top:12.0000pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:center; line-height:28.0000pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:22.0000pt; font-family:'宋体'; ">《众秘夜思》第</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:22.0000pt; font-family:'宋体'; ">43</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:22.0000pt; font-family:'宋体'; ">集</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:22.0000pt; font-family:'宋体'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; line-height:28.0000pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; line-height:28.0000pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">时间</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：2014年</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">11</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">月</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">4</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">日</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; line-height:28.0000pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">地点</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:justify; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 主题：</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">文稿评改。</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; ">围绕115号同学小鱼提供的一篇上报信息</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; ">展开讨论，查找问题和不足，提出修改建议。</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; line-height:28.0000pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">主</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">播</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">北纬30度</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; line-height:28.0000pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">整理</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">小陈</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><table class="MsoTableGrid" style="width: 426.1pt; padding-top: 0pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-bottom: 0pt; padding-left: 5.4pt; "><tbody><tr><td width="568" valign="top" style="width: 426.1pt; padding-top: 0pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-bottom: 0pt; padding-left: 5.4pt; border-left-width: 0.5pt; border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right-width: 0.5pt; border-right-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top-width: 0.5pt; border-top-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-bottom-width: 0.5pt; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:center; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:22.0000pt; font-family:'宋体'; ">****多措并举助推百草园不断升级</span><span style="font-weight:bold; font-size:22.0000pt; font-family:'宋体'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:center; "><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; ">文稿修改演播室 小鱼</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:center; "><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; ">（2014年11月4日）</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:center; "><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16pt; font-family: 楷体_GB2312; "><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">为</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">进一步提高城市园林绿化</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">景观水平</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">,</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">今年市园林绿化局以科学管理、文化建设为中心，以为民、惠民为落脚点，重点打造了***省唯一一个以中草药为主题的园区-****百草园。百草园9月3日正式对外开放以来，吸引了广大市民和省内外游客前来参观。为了进一步提升百草园景观效果，更好地服务游客，****多措并举，采用精细化管理模式，丰富公园文化内涵，以人为本服务百姓助推百草园不断升级。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 黑体; ">一、精细化管理，创建和谐环境</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 黑体; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">1、把好保洁关，定人、定岗、定责。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">针对新园区、新环境、游人多的特点，园区保洁人员统一着装，按照网格化区域划分对环境卫生进行打扫和清理，力争做到“三无”，即无死角、无漏洞、无灰尘。同时，保洁服装采用传统斗笠、仿古黑裤子搭配黑布鞋，衣着汉服并统一刺有“****百草园”字样，导游身着传统旗袍，既整齐，又体现了我国传统的古文化特点，与景区意境相融合。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">2、把好安全关，责任重如山。</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; ">加强对园区的安全管理与防范措施。对木栈桥新争安全警示宣</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">传牌，救生圈，救生船，湖堤安全警示牌，在重点区域安装文明宣传牌30余块，其内容富有文化底蕴又能让大家一目了然。如：“爱惜芳草莫践踏，且教桃李闹春风”等。及时排查用电用水的安全隐患。园内安排9名保安人员实行三班倒，对园区内的花、草、树木和公共设施进行管理，确保24小时有人在岗。为游客创造了安全的游园环境。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 黑体; ">二、丰富文化内涵，增添亮点</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 黑体; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">1、文化为公园增添亮点。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">为了让广大游客在游园时能了解我国中医药文化的博大精深，黄沙环路路灯杆底部安装了木质灯箱。灯箱正面刻有古代中医名家简介和杏花的古诗句，侧面刻有文明游园宣传语。如：中医药人物扁鹊、华佗、张仲景、李时珍等，杏花古诗句唐·司空图的《杏花》、明·唐寅的《杏林春燕》、宋·王安石的《北陂杏花》等。41个灯箱以中医名家和古诗创作年代为顺序，安装环路路灯上，简洁、古朴，富有古典气息。黄沙广场安放了4块《中草药美丽的传说》宣传板，主要介绍了川芎、黄芩、白芍、车前草4种药材的故事，赋予草药景观灵魂，让百草园充满生命力。灯箱与宣传板增添了园区文化内涵，吸引了众多游客驻足欣赏，增加了广大市民游客对我国传统中医药文化了解。在太极广场增添了“领拳台”，为在此打太极的市民提供方便，为热爱太极拳的朋友们创造良好的环境，优美的拳姿配上优雅的环境，人与自然完美结合，展现了太极广场的魅力。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">2、亮化为公园增添魅力。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">为了不影响广大市民晚上游玩，在园区内新增节能路灯45个，在古韵芳踪景区牌楼安装射灯2根，在木栈桥和“凤凰于飞”景观上分别安置了景观灯带。在太极八卦广场安装了4根太阳能灯杆。夜幕降临，华灯初上，照亮了园路。七色景观灯交替变换，勾勒出木栈桥和“凤凰于飞”景观的轮廓，为人们展现美轮美奂的意境，形成了绝佳美景，使广大市民游玩至深，乐不思蜀。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">3、雾化为公园增添特色。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">安装撞击式雾化系统设备，达到造景、降温、控湿、除尘的效果和目的。沿着木栈桥两侧交替布置雾效，以雾为纽带，将水、木栈桥、植物相互融合成景。虽为人作，宛若天成，为公园风景融入了独具一格的雾森风光。既有效增加了空气湿度以及负氧离子含量，也为植物营造了更为自然的气候环境，让游客享受更为深层次的自然之美。当雾化开启的时候，人在桥上桥在雾中，犹如仙境一般也可谓“仙境之桥”。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 黑体; ">三、以人为本，注重为民服务</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 黑体; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">在百草园的建设和管理中，公园坚持以人为本，把便民、惠民作为落脚点。为了方便市民游园，百草园安装木质</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><a >景观座椅</a></span>12套，秋千摇椅8套，简洁、大方，方便、实用，游客在疲劳时可以休憩，极大地方便了游客，体现了为民服务宗旨，践行了群众路线。国家主席习近平携夫人彭丽媛出访印度的时候，夫妇二人就曾体验过类似这种的秋千摇椅。同时，公园联合中医药专家在“素问堂”开展为市民免费义诊，向市民普及医学常识，引导市民科学养生，科学就医。人们在此不仅能欣赏园区美景，又能了解我国的中医药文化，还有“悬丝切脉”真是一举多得。<span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋_GB2312'; ">****将不断完善，进一步加强园区景观建设和文化建设，让广大游客欣赏百草园的怡人美景，领略我国古老的文化底蕴、丰富科普知识，感受温馨公园的和谐之韵，为****建设加力使劲，为绿色宜居森林城创建添彩。</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:justify; "><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0); font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p> </o:p></span></p></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 北纬30度：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">小鱼，先给大家介绍下你写这篇稿子的有关背景和主要思路。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 115号同学小鱼</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：就是我们新建了一个百草园，领导说写个信息，让局里领导知道我们干的多么好。把亮点写出来。多写写细节，我们是怎么管理的。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 北纬30度：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">那应该说这是一个以宣传工作业绩为主要目的的信息。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">对。领导说把管理放在第一块，因为我们新建的这个园区融入了大量的文化元素，习总书记不是强调要继承中华传统文化吗？领导说把文化元素套上，显得我们与时俱进一般材料不是要分三点么，最后一点我就和为民服务联系上了。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">北纬30度：</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">好的，请看完的朋友们提提建议吧。小鱼敢于把自己的材料拿出来跟大家分享交流，肯定是很想得到大家的帮助，有什么建议尽可以畅所欲言。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">小鱼写得很好啊，我肯定写不出来。但还有一点小小的看法，还请小鱼指正。该篇文章主要存在三个问题：第一，主题不突出。撒胡椒面似得，看完后反而抓不住中心；第二，还需要高度概括归纳总结；第三，语言还需锤炼。整篇文章缺乏一条主线把素材串起来。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">老秘：北纬30度:</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">寒梅说的对，这篇稿子的确存在主题分散，内容牵强，赘述太多等问题。在线的朋友们都出来说说自己的看法。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">我还差的很多。没有，你们写的都比我好。这个主线是什么呢？</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 62号同学寒梅:</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">助推百草园不断升级——9月份才开业，应该说也才打开局面，说助推是不是不太恰当？</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">这个我倒是没觉得。我查查啥叫助推。 </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">以小推大、以局部促整体，是不是才能说“助推”呢？因为入手思路偏了，所以，整个文章显得杂乱无力。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：助推：协助推进，帮助推进。领导的意思就是写出这个园的亮点。3个亮点，管理，文化，为民服务</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">你试一下以前老师讲过的：标题+观点+材料的写法。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">一是第二大点的第2小点和第3小点的内容和第二个标题不太符合 。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><table class="MsoTableGrid" style="width: 426.1pt; padding-top: 0pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-bottom: 0pt; padding-left: 5.4pt; "><tbody><tr><td width="568" valign="top" style="width: 426.1pt; padding-top: 0pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-bottom: 0pt; padding-left: 5.4pt; border-left-width: 0.5pt; border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right-width: 0.5pt; border-right-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top-width: 0.5pt; border-top-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-bottom-width: 0.5pt; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">二、</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">丰富文化内涵，增添亮点</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; "><!----><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">2、</span><!----><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">亮化为公园增添魅力。</span><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1; "><!----><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">3、</span><!----><span style="font-size: 16pt; font-family: 仿宋; ">雾化为公园增添特色</span><span style="font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p></td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">老秘：北纬30度：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">我说说我的看法，小鱼刚才说到的是一些具体问题，核心问题在于本篇文章的主题有偏差。既然领导要求突出亮点，那我们就应该先考虑一下工作之中有什么亮点。根据材料内容，可以看出小鱼归纳了三个方面：管理、建设、服务。归纳主题就要找一个能把三者统领起来的东西，我觉得这篇文章可以在文化上破题，将文化特色体现在日常管理中，体现在公园的硬件建设中，体现在开展</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">的惠民服务中，以此为主线把各方面的内容串联起来，形成合力，以此达到展示工作业绩的目的。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">领导就是说一突出管理，二突出文化</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">园区以中草药为主题，这个非常有特色， 但是，从信息里看不出来百草园的“中草药”味儿。保洁等日常管理是所有公共场所的基本要求。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">不是要突出中药。领导想突出的是这里</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">卫生管理</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">无死角、无漏洞、无灰尘。同时，保洁服装采用传统斗笠、仿古黑裤子搭配黑布鞋，衣着汉服并统一刺有“百草园”字样，导游身着传统旗袍，既整齐，又体现了我国传统的古文化特点，与景区意境相融合。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">我前面做了点铺垫。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">那就是北纬老师说的，突出文化引领，可以从不同侧面反映文化特色。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">要是突出文化特色，我就得往第二点里放了，当时也是想了很久</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="text-indent:32.0000pt; margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">老秘：北纬30度</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：如果以文化特色统领全文，稿子是需要大改的，不必纠结于原文。按照当前材料，压缩一页半就够了。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">以文化为主线是个不错的主意。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><br></span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">老秘：北纬30度：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">先定个大标题。你们那里为什么要搞这个百草园，有什么由头？是否有名医？</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">省唯一一个以中草药为主题的园区——这里专门提了一句，所以我也疑惑。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">听领导说，好像全国公园里面种中草药的只有南方的一个叫七星园的，北方没有。所以我们想打造一个以科普、教学于一体的中草药园区，计划种100种中草药，实际上才种80多种。北方比较闭塞，园林景观建设也比较落后 。论建设肯定是不及南方园林，我们没有历史，没有文化元素，我们单位2000年才建园 。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">不管有没有100种，既然是全省为一个以中草药为主题的园区，为啥信息正文里没提到呢？</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 115号同学小鱼</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">：引导语提了，正文就不想提了。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 62号同学寒梅：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">百草园的特色首先是中草药，然后才是别的什么 。个人认为您恰恰把最主要的忽略了。</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="p0" style="margin-top:0pt; margin-bottom:0pt; text-align:left; "><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-weight:bold; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "> 115号同学小鱼：</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; ">怎么说呢，百草园成立的时候我们已经上报了一个信息，那篇信息已经把百草园大概的情况向大家作介绍了，这篇突出的是百草园后续管理。刚才大家说感觉这篇信息很散，你们散在哪里呢？</span><span style="mso-spacerun:'yes'; font-size:16.0000pt; font-family:'仿宋'; "><o:p></o:p></span></p>**** Hidden Message ***** 我认为这篇文章写的太散，赘述太多，信息应该就是简短精干才对。 各抒己见，气氛热烈！ 这种方式太好了，特别是高手的点评，有深度！ 修改过程就是进步的过程 北纬30度 发表于 4 天前 static/image/common/back.gif《众秘夜思》第43集 时间：2014年11月4日地点：老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120） 主题：文稿评改。围绕115号同学小鱼提供的一篇上报信息展开讨论，查找问题和不足，提
回复了怎么还看不见？是手机上的关系吗 这个不是写宣传信息，是材料总结的写法啊 学习了，这个方面恰好需要学习 {:4_112:}来学学了，新手必须 非常好这篇突出的是百草园后续管理。