不说话的艺术
<p align="right" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">文/黄桐</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">一言可以兴邦，一言可以丧邦。──《论语》</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">某天，智者的弟子慌慌张张地跑来，气喘吁吁地说：“老师！我要告诉您一件事！”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">智者气定神闲的反问：“你要说的话，有先用那三个筛子筛过吗？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“筛子？什么筛子？”弟子摸不着头绪。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“第一个筛子是‘建设’，你要说的话很重要吗？有没有什么建设性？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“其实也还好……”弟子犹豫了。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“第二个筛子是‘事实’。你要说的话，确定是真实的吗？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“我不确定……”弟子迟疑地说：“我是从别人那里听来的。”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“第三个筛子是‘善言’，你要说的话，是好话吗？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">“不……刚好相反。”弟子不好意思的抓抓头。</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">智者微笑地说：“既然如此，我相信你没有话要说了。”</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">【心的体验】</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">人人都会说话，人人都听过“说话的艺术”，但却很少人留意，有时“不说话”，是更高明的艺术！我曾听一对结婚六十多年，几乎不曾吵架的老夫妻谈起他们沟通的秘诀，他们说：“婚姻就像跳探戈，一人往前，一人后退；一人多说了两句，一人就少说两句。”这句话不仅适用于婚姻，更是适用所有人际关系呢！</span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">生活中大大小小的争执，大部分不都是那“多说的一句话”引起的吗？人难免有情绪，但话出口前，先缓一缓，用“建设”、“事实”、“善言”这三个筛子筛过再说，遗憾必定能大大减少！<span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;"><font face="方正硬笔楷书简体" style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal;">@</font></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;"> <wbr></span></p><p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; border: 0px; list-style: none; word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; color: rgb(50, 62, 50); font-family: simsun; text-indent: 2em;"><span style="word-wrap: normal; word-break: normal; line-height: 28px; font-size: 14pt; font-family: 方正硬笔楷书简体; color: rgb(152, 72, 6); background-color: white;">摘自 《紧握双手什么都没有》</span></p><p></p>
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